With this busy time of year – getting in some time to journal can be a toughie.
I always make time to jot down a few things about my day, every day. Some days are more detailed than others – but that’s okay. I’m making sure I journal my… any-things, a something! From the smallest-gratitude to the most recent/current physical symptom (or happenings) – I have really developed a love for journaling.
It’s the typical story: didn’t really journal, then dabbled in it, it was hit-and-miss; then decided I would commit to it. Made it a daily habit, started out small but grew to make it a scheduled habit. When I began to make it a part of my daily routine… it really started sticking and developing into something that, now, if I don’t do it – it feels ‘off’. There are many times when I journal about Monday on Tuesday type of thing… but I am still – not missing a day.
As this year winds-down and is coming to its close… it is fun, and interesting, to look back over my journaling’s to see how far I have progressed. What a year! I am so grateful and thankful for everything I have accomplished: internally and externally! I will have to say though – the internal work was definitely challenging and way-more rewarding than anything I could have done outside of me. I am grateful for getting over some of the hurdles that were presented to me throughout this past year. I want to work on this stuff; I want to clear-the-crap, I want to learn from lessons, and have growth because of it all. Every time I can work through something and clear it – release it, I feel lighter. And I know this is all part of the work that needs to be done right now.
There’s that saying (about material things): you can’t take it with you when you die. Well, about the: emotional/programmed/negative-beliefs/trauma/past-life stuff… I don’t want to take that with me any-more – when I die! (Lots of past-lives for me.) I am done with it all and am working on peeling it off of me! Yes, this is quite the project but I am worth it! We ALL need to feel and believe (and KNOW) we are worth it!
This past year has been about shaking the fruit off the tree (for a lot of people). Those that are awake and those that are awakening now – this year was a big-pulsing-in-your-face-alarm-clock going off. 5D is now! This is happening whether any one likes it or not! And, damn, I am super-stoked about it! 🙂
This week of the Solstice Gateway, finishing up on 12-21, along with the actual Winter Solstice and the full moon… it’s almost practically synching up! These energies are so close together I’m probably going to feel something crack or pop inside of me! It might be dizzying. I remind myself to stay grounded! And I remind myself to ‘take care’.
I am still doing some ‘physical purging’ – things have happened to me (since 11-11-‘11’) that I haven’t felt/experienced in probably ten years! They also appear random – but I know they are not. A random bloody nose (I never get these), a random throwing-up (this one is rare for me, I hardly ever do this)… I am feeling totally fine, feel normal/healthy/no other symptoms – these just ‘came on’. Weird, yes, but I also felt better when they were done. I have had weird moments of wobbly balance, for example: walking ‘into a door’ when I clearly should have gone right through the center! There’s a few other oddities but these are examples of my ‘interesting’ month. I know that old, toxic/negative ‘stuff’ is being cleansed from me right now. I have even been doing this particular kind of work/meditating these last couple of months. So, I figured I would see/experience something (of a cleansing-nature).
I actually have been doing this cleaning/clearing work for a couple of years but for some reason… right now, it feels different. It feels like I am getting past (and have gotten past) the surface-layers and finally getting to the core. Deep, deep emotional/ego cleaning. Really bringing up and removing the density. Clearing old patterns/programs, lineage/dark-negative lineage, toxins/viruses… just all kinds – of cleaning, clearing, cutting/removing chords and hooks. As I keep integrating more light – this stuff has to leave. It cannot stay; there is no room for it, no need for it, there is no advancing/evolving with it still attached. I never thought I would be ‘bowing-to-the-porcelain-god’, out of the blue, to purge something from me – this never crossed my mind (side-note: I hate… hate this body-function. I appreciate it for its purpose when really needed; unless I have a stomach flu – but even then… no thank you! Of all the functions our bodies can do/provide – throwing up is my number 1 most un-liked. I will do everything and anything to NOT go through this)! This one… shocked-me! But the feeling of literally and figuratively unloading something (I don’t know what it was and I don’t need to) I was feeling better after; and in 24 hours I was feeling great! I just felt… great!
I really don’t know why I am writing about my bodily functions, but at the same time – this is what is really going on. This is what is happening. Ignoring it, pretending it’s not going on, is not the answer. I know that others are experiencing weird purging’s too. We all need to dump some stuff so we can keep ascending into our 5D (and beyond) bodies. Awakening and ascending is not all pretty rainbows and butterflies. There is some serious heavy-lifting some of us need to do, there’s trench crawling, and working our way out of muddy, mucky, gunk. And the more times you have incarnated on this planet (the more past lives you have had) the more work to be done. I, for one, am an old soul. I have been here a lot! I have been working on clearing stuff for a few years and there has been a lot of crying-sessions. I am not done crying (although I have gotten better at what used to ‘set me off’ and I know it’s because I have worked through it) and I am not done clearing. But knowing that I have moved into the phase of some truly physically purging and releasing things from me, in a weird way, is nice.
The rest of December might be smooth, it might not. I don’t know. I do know that I will continue to give myself some time every day to just be with myself. If it’s 5 minutes or if it’s more – it’s part of the self-care and nurturing that is required at this time. The energies are going to keep ramping up. Before we know it – it will be January and the total lunar eclipse (on the 20/21st) will be introducing us to another new layer of energies.
Keep taking care, keep loving (yourself and others), keep clearing/releasing, keep bringing in the light – fill yourself with it! If you are one that celebrates Christmas, and will be with family, remain in your heart. It may or may not be challenging; just remember that everyone is feeling this energy right now. It’s just that there are a lot of people that don’t know why – or what – is ‘going on’. They just walk around with emotions on the surface; might be quick to anger (because they are being triggered by their own deeper emotions), they might seem confused or disoriented. They might be feeling sick – on various levels. Stuff (things/actions or words said) can trigger people right now. Stay in your heart while they go through their motion/emotion. If you can be an observer… that’s even better! Things also might come back around for you (‘this again?!’). Why? Why is this visiting again? It’s there for you to do something different this time, and from a higher perspective. There are lessons in everything, hopefully a lesson learned this time around… some wisdom now gathered!
Happy rest of the year!
Happy Solstice Gateway, Winter Solstice, Full Moon, Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year!
Whew! I am exhausted!
Love and Blessings!